Cycle of Violence

The cycle of violence may be different for some abusers but it generally follows the same pattern. A victim may be fooled early on in the relationship. The victim may not understand that this is abuse but generally by the time they do, they are often trapped in the relationship. The cycle consists of the following phases:

Phase 1: Tension building

• Verbal threats, intimidation, swearing, calling person names
• Victim will be compliant so not to make the abuser angry which can lead to a beating
• Victim will put up with it with the hopes that it will go away
• Victim may keep family and friends away but this only isolates the victim further making the victim dependant on him or allowing the abuser to be the only source of affection
• Abuser generally becomes more angry, jealous and/or suspicious of victim
• Abuser tries to control every aspect of the victims life to keep victim under abusers control and ensures that the victim does not leave
• As tension builds, abuser becomes more aggressive and severe abuse follows

Phase 2: Abuse/Violence

• Severe abuse or violence against victim
• Abuser may also cause much damage to the home
• Alcohol and drugs may be involved but this is just the abusers excuse to abuse
• Abuser knows where to hurt the victim. Generally in areas that can be covered by clothes or not severe enough to cause injury so people can see
• In some cases physical violence fades away but victim knows that it can happen at any time again

Phase 3: Apology/Honeymoon phase

• Abuser begs for forgiveness
• Abuser will often cry and promise to stop abusing, drinking, etc
• Abuser will sometimes give the victim gifts
• Victim wants to believe the abuser – false hope
• This phase is generally used early on in the relationship but eventually may stop because abuser finds that he or she does not need to apologize anymore