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Stories

As an advocacy tool to highlight the plight of women as they struggle with gender based violence and other forms of abuse and betrayal, REACH is compiling a book of women’s stories - "Women out to REACH" depicts sad but inspirational stories of women who have struggled against all odds to make a better life for themselves and their children.

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"Women out to REACH” is in the process of being edited for release in March 2011. Here we share story extracts from some very brave women and a father's message to families affected by HIV and AIDS. Warning: these stories may affect sensitive readers.

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"I believed that a woman is inferior, and she must be obedient to her husband...”

I met my first boyfriend at my Matric dance it was love at first sight. I was very, very much in love with him. He was everything to me but about 8 months later after we got married he began to smoke dagga [marijuana] and drink. I didn’t realize it immediately [but] his devious ways began to show. He began to shout and swear something he had never done before. It was very shocking for me, but I never said a word or questioned him about it. I had great respect for my husband and at that time I believed that a woman is inferior, and she must be obedient to her husband. Later he started drinking a lot and hitting me unnecessarily. One day he went as far as bringing [a] whore home. I had to sleep with my child so that he and she could sleep in our bed. I refused at first but he hit my terribly in front of her. They went to lie down and had sex in front of me, oh God my heart was so sore but that was nothing...when they were done he forced me to lick them both clean. He stabbed me with a knife that night on my head, he told me I had to do it because that’s what I was, he said “a floor rag and a has been”. And so it went on for many nights."Full story available on REACH's Women out to REACH book...watch this space for the book launch in December 2010.

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"Dad, I have AIDS...”

"I am a community leader and I want to use this opportunity to share with parents and families how to support your child when he or she is HIV positive. I was born in Walvis Bay but moved years later to a farm called Ronwe in Paarl because of my wife's illness. I have worked on this farm for 38 years. My wife and I were strict but loving parents. In 1996, my daughter developed TB and was in hospital for 6 months. I accepted the fact that it was TB but in time I realized that the sickness that she had was different to TB. When she returned home she looked worse than when she left. I demanded then that she tell me what was going on. And that’s when she said “Dad, I have AIDS. I could not tell you because I was scared that you would chase me away. I have known since 1994”. Despite my and my wife’s efforts she continued to live a rough life. I never thought I would be in this situation. I tell people every day that when you have HIV a death sentence is placed upon you. The whole family is affected. I realized that I could not leave her to herself. "."Full story available on REACH's Women out to REACH book...watch this space for the book launch in December 2010.

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"They would tell me I was overreacting and that this was just the way that men and women connected...”

"I grew up in Grabouw and was one of the first women forklift drivers in the area. When I was offered the position [men especially] could not believe that a woman could do the job of a man. From day one, my male colleagues tried to get rid of me. When they realized that I would not give up easily, they began sexually harassing me. Because of the nature of my work and the extended hours, I was often the only woman left in the packing houses. Here they would use this opportunity to force themselves on me in dark and secluded areas...taking their chances at groping and trying to kiss me. They would also make sexually suggestive remarks and ask me for sexual favours. The packing house manager was the worst one...he would also take his chances and once even offered me a promotion if I would sleep with him. Despite all the difficult situations I found myself in, I was always able to protect myself but try as I might to talk to other female colleagues and friends about what was happening to me no one supported me. They would tell me I was overreacting and that this was just the way that men and women connected."Full story available on REACH's Women out to REACH book...watch this space for the book launch in December 2010.